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Faculty of Utter Balderdash

“Per Errata Ad Astra”

Students shall fail to grasp the following course areas at the University’s

Department For Not Taking Part

Details remain sketchy, but students will attend the Centre For Irrational Hope, aiming to misunderstand the following:

Circular Thought

Unwarranted Optimism

Ridiculous Oversights

Modular units ‘Study of Holes & Wistful Glances’, and ‘History of the Bubbly Cough’ are taken
within the
School of Daft Experiments, and require additional insurance cover.

The Faculty Of Utter Balderdash is lead by the Chair of Showing Off.
This is a
sandwich course, and can be eaten afterwards.


Faculty of Going Wrong - “Dare To Fail”

Our Mission: Students shall watch things going wrong, and ensure they can repeat the blunder.
The traditional discipline of Failure Studies is augmented by the latest
Disinformation Technology

Failure studies comprising:

School of Pre-Death Studies and Over-Analysis

School of Embarrassing Mishaps

School of Inappropriate Behavior


Accident Reconstruction Workshops

Awkward Moment Analysis

Disinformation Technology

Non-transit courses incorporating:

Study Of Piss-Pronunciation

Study Of Wrong Numbers

Blunder Assessment

Faculty Of Applied Incompetence

The Faculty was originally to be called the Faculty Of Ineptitude, but there was an error at the sign maker’s.
At the heart of studies is the renowned
Library Of Missing & Overdue Books.
The library operates a
360 degree revolving door policy, which means no one can get in.
Students can opt to fail in four of the five
key incompetence areas:

Pointless Argument

Overlooking The Obvious

Applied Waiting

Students who opt for the either of the additional courses:

Self Inversion

Silent Wind Studies

will automatically gain a certificate from the Dept of Quizzical Looks, and free entry to the

Witless Protection Program.

Part times course are available in:

Folly Management & Shrugging

“Our students learn that there is such a thing as a stupid question!”

The Faculty of Mistaken Identity offers courses in

Heresy & Tittering

Furtive Arts & Jostle Studies

False Entry Beekeeping

Morbid Flux

Well, this is becoming increasingly annoying.
you appear to have engaged my bullshit activation facilities.
& those are facilities not to be trifled with, lightly.

The College Of Lost Knowledge
The Faculty Of Zero Inflation
The Institute Of Sudden Torpor

The School Of Deep Malays! (associated with KL's School Of Drowning)

The Centre For Spontaneous Planning
The Institute For Very Poor Timing

New Diploma in "Negotiating The Flaw"

Now let that be enough !

Rev Quickly



This is a stripped down course in PHYSICAL ECSTASY known as PE for shorts!*

and finally


Professor Meriva Joiner

Dr Hardy Worthlett

Professor Hastings McDownfall

Dr Justin Epton

Dr Standon Waite

Dr Q. Nicely

Dr Eureka De Garlik

Professor Toby Ornott

Dr Hugh Massey-Ferrer

Dr Eileen Dreitbach

Dr Hope O’Brandon

Dr Blanche Parson-Waters

Professor Istvan Kerr

Professor Amanda Peebles

Dr Steinar Pratt

Professor Lacivia Surgess

Professor Bernie Bridges

Faculteas for universidilational requestions by damon murray aka:

Proff Spanish Eddie..Medieval IT

Reflexapologist dept,


Ear nose triminology +moustache topary,

Dpt of Moist Perssuasions,

Flatuatory Georomancacism,

Bi-polar Blunderbuss Practice,

Astral Insemination,

Aural Hughology,

Involuntary Ejectionolojism,

Eco-colostomic reverselaxitiviology,

vibrational screen printing,

polite shamanism+preserves,

Gorilla Goolieology,


Tactile Meditation